Transforming Loss, Illness, and Pain into an Opportunity for Growth and Transformation

                 As a hospice nurse, as well as a fellow human being, I see (and experience) much suffering and pain on a daily basis, from houseless humans to millionaires (haven’t met a billionaire yet, that I know of, but I know you are out there, and share our humanity too, no matter what you may be expressing in the world!). No matter what, life’s challenges touch us all – and I believe it is part of why we are here.

                  Illness, pain, suffering, heartbreak, loss – strike us all unexpectedly, even catastrophically – upsetting even the most even, ordered lives. In my own life, despite many small traumas and struggles, it was the first unexpected, horrifically tragic death and loss of a loved one that really provided a wakeup call, as moving through the grief touched my Soul so deeply. Thankfully, instead of disappearing into closing my heart and becoming cynical, I moved through the grief and allowed its lessons to inform and transform how I was living. How I knew to do this at a young age, I can only guess was the work of my Soul.

                  Grief in these instances can be intense and unrelenting – grieving the loss of all we were capable of doing, experiencing, and being. Trying to reorganize our lives to fit a new identity – one that most of the people around us cannot begin to relate to, unless they themselves are going through the same thing. It can be an incredibly isolating and lonely place to be.

                  The only way forward, really, is within. Finding that inner resilience, that source within us that is unchanging, is strong and present throughout all. This inner source doesn’t care if we are looking out at an ocean view or a brick wall. The inner source doesn’t care if we botox or see a few extra lines crinkling our smiles. This inner source doesn’t care if we are wearing organic cashmere matching sets or doing our best with an old flannel, as it knows these are transitory mirages of life, and ultimately do not dictate our worthiness.

                  But learning this, really, can sometimes take a catastrophic loss to truly understand that what is the deepest, unchanging truth is what lies within us, the love between us, not what is outside us. Suffering, illness, loss – are not a punishment – they are gifts –  gifts from our Source, our true natures, to help wake us up!

We are spiritual beings having a human experience; we are children of the divine. We hold within us the Love and Light that creates universes!

                  But in learning this truth, most of us need a reminder to have an experience of loss to turn within, to shift our focus away from the outside world and turn instead to inner resilience, to our inner Soul. Most of us won’t be able to do this journey unless it is forced upon us.

                  This is the purpose of this world: to remind us of our true nature, our divine nature, and we can learn this through the suffering and loss of relationships, and that which we gain outside of ourselves in this world. Learning to turn to our inner selves, our inner life, is the transformative journey of loss and suffering. In this transformative journey, we rediscover our hearts, rediscover our unchanging, divine nature, rediscover that we are completely and irretrievably connected, rediscover the feeling and knowing that we are never alone, and our worth and being are measured in Love, not in luxury.

        Doorways to our inner lives and inner resilience can include: allowing the waves of grief to move through to the stillness and quiet on the other side, sitting in prayer,  mindful contemplation, moments in meditation, being in nature, and feeling the connection of oneness. Sit and breathe. Be open to what is within.

                Our loved ones in the spiritual world took only the Love they shared and the lessons learned. Their touch, their memories can be a daily reminder to change our focus from acquiring and demanding the luxury of outer trappings and experiences, to going deeper within to what matters most. To remember that no matter how much our bodies, relationships, and circumstances change, to remember we are spiritual beings - what matters most is the love and care we share with one another and our fellow humans and creatures of this world. What a transformative gift illness, suffering, pain, and loss may be to remember our true nature.